it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
