He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
