Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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