I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
