He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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