just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
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It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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