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• (317): View more from Indiana

  wrigley field is MILF paradise

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps

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• (408): View more from California

  If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts

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