Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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