This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?