We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.