Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

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(214): did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date. http://tfl.nu/9ydt

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(864): View more from South Carolina

you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.

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(864): you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack. http://tfl.nu/rq5j

Replies (40) Good night (715) Bad night (4844)
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(817): View more from Texas

Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you

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(817): Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/97p3

Replies (16) Good night (1174) Bad night (4208)
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(305): View more from Florida

I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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(305): I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls http://tfl.nu/u8nd

Replies (96) Good night (7093) Bad night (1056)
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(303): View more from Colorado

New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.

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(303): New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar. http://tfl.nu/vp4p

Replies (7) Good night (6479) Bad night (1149)
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(936): View more from Texas

Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.

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(936): Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/amif

Replies (15) Good night (7531) Bad night (1062)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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(814): The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate. http://tfl.nu/mnoh

Replies (9) Good night (891) Bad night (4182)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.

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(612): She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again. http://tfl.nu/aifk

Replies (13) Good night (1988) Bad night (799)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen

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(913): I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen http://tfl.nu/cr8z

Replies (5) Good night (1974) Bad night (748)
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(425): View more from Washington

So that wine I told you about is vile...

(360): View more from Washington

That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?

(425): View more from Washington

Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.

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(425): So that wine I told you about is vile... (360): That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it? (425): Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something. http://tfl.nu/ggqv

Replies (4) Good night (1265) Bad night (675)
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(289): View more from Ontario

Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.

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(289): Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/zzea

Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (372)
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(760): View more from California

I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.

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(760): I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling. http://tfl.nu/owmt

Replies (13) Good night (734) Bad night (431)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.

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(703): I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat. http://tfl.nu/wce9

Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (474)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet

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(907): I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet http://tfl.nu/tki5

Replies (0) Good night (785) Bad night (203)
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(207): View more from Maine

I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.

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(207): I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night. http://tfl.nu/ewy3

Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (277)

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