So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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