just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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