i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
