South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
