why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
