I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
