I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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