I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
