Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
