Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize