So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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