We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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