I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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