Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
