I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize