Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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