i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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