butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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