do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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