i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
