when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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