Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
