Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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