Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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