you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
