All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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