Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I look better un-naked...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize