Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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