just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
