Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
