My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
