I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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