Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
