if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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