Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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