thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
