I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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