In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
