It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
