Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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