Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
