you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
