you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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