dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
