We're facebook friends in real life
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
