dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
