Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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