I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
