Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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