Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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