Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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