Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
last night I used snow as a chaser
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
