Your tits are I can't wait for
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
