I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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