Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
